What did you want to be?  When we were young it seemed pretty easy.  You had a list to choose from like a teacher, doctor, lawyer, scientist, a homemaker, an office job…then everything changed.  The hipsters started playing around with new and modern technology.  Then this technology started to catch up with us and new careers were being created.  All of a sudden roles were being redefined.  Women and men began to reverse roles.  Many men stayed home with the children as the women went out and found their voice out there in the workplace.

So as a teenager the options opened up and the world got a little bigger and there were many more options available.  In high school picking a major for college was not so clear cut.  Even the prospect of going to college was began to shift.  Why go to school right away when there’s this whole world out there to explore and to experience.  Eventually I did go to college and am actually using my major (the 4th  one chosen).  At age 13 I took a journey to Japan and it forever opened my eyes to new ideas and cultures showing me that maybe our “American way” of doing things isn’t the only way.  Thus began the addiction of traveling, anywhere and everywhere.  It is my priority and will always be my priority.  As a woman in my late teens I dreamed and saved for these travels and experiences.  Just a a teenage girl dreams of marriage and kids and a home with a white picket fence, I dreamed of places I have yet to explore.

As an adult reflecting back on the path my life has taken.  The journey has been one I could never have predicted.  I am a woman in her 40’s who still desires travel, still lives for the next experience.  I have had fleeting dreams of the “normal” life that I heard about as a child but those are just moments…and they pass.  I know that for me I must follow that which creates happiness and peace in my heart and cultivates and honors the highest version of myself.

I never dreamed of being a full time yoga teacher, but I am.  Lucky me.

There are a few schools of thought on whether or not music should be played in a yoga class.  Some say it’s distracting you from your practice, others say it enhances the practice.  I feel many different ways about it.  As a yoga teacher I feel that it’s best to go with the mood and feeling of the students and the group energy.  Some days I feel like a group collective energy and rhythm deserve a fun vibe.  Last Thursday night in class I taught a Yin/Yang class.  First beginning with the Yang or more energizing portion of the practice. Bob Marley was the first thing on the playlist that came up. It worked wonderfully and of course who doesn’t love BOB?  Moving and dancing a little to “Three Little Birds” and transitioning into balancing poses with “Redemption Song”.  As we settled back to the floor moving into the Yin portion or calming, grounding low to the ground postures held for a few minutes at a time I changed the music to a bit classical some gentle kirtan and mantra music.  It was beautiful to watch and experience the energy shift in the room.  Some people are able to lose themselves in the music.

Of course the other side of using music is being distracted.  All day, everyday we are exposed to sounds and sights, enough to bod down the mind and keep a person stressed out even during yoga class.  I happen to take classes with an amazing instructor who does not play music during instruction.  The sounds in the room are many breathing persons having their own experience.  No distractions, just you and your breath.  The breath keeps you present.  When you’re not breathing, where are you?  Come back to the breath.  It’s so simple.  What ever you choose stay in the moment and enjoy the ride.

Pratyahara is one of the 8 limbs of Ashtanga Yoga.  It is the 5th limb coming after the Yamas, Niyamas, Asana and Pranayama.  It is, in my opinion, one of the most challenging limbs of your yoga practice.  As a student of yoga as well as a teacher I find this one of the more difficult to practice, and a challenge to teach.  Living in Los Angeles, something I never thought would happen 10 years ago, I find myself easliy distracted.

There is always something to awaken the mind stuff (chitta vritta) be it sounds of horns honking, trash trucks in the alleys, neighbors “loud talking”, smells of garlic from every single restaurant in the neighborhood, smells of jasmine, freshly cut grass, people everywhere, and of course what yoga class to take, from which teacher, at which studio, today.  So many decisions to make all day everyday it’s easy to forget what your intentions were that morning.

As a student I have been consciously trying to withdraw from all of these distractions.  As I walk to take or teach a class I focus on my breath, inhale…exhale…right foot…left foot…oh look a squirrel, how cute!  I think it is coming over to me, hi squirrel, oh look at those red morning glories, so vibrant and colorful, oh look that car needs a wash, I should wash my car too…hmmm, maybe I’ll do that in between classes today.  Inhale…exhale…right foot…left foot.  I’m back.

As a teacher I try to incorporate pratyahara into the students’ asana practice.  First, unroll the mat, get quiet, pay attention.  Let go of all you see, close your eyes.  Let go of all you hear, just listen to your breath.  This past Sunday morning at Equinox for the Vinyasa class we practiced a withdrawal of the senses.  No music, just the sound of ujjayi, no struggling, no efforting.  If you start to check out the person next to you, notice and come back to your practice, your mat.  What you are doing is perfect for you, as what the other student is doing is perfect for them.  That is what is so perfect about the practice of yoga.  Whether it is physical or mental, just remember it’s all about you.  The room was a bevy of sound even thought there was no music.  It was beautiful to hear!!!

Walking into Jerome’s class this morning and Buena Vista Social Club is playing on the ipod. I unroll my mat and lay back just listening to the low chatter of people socializing and the backbeat of bongos and funky beats.  There is a nice vibe in the studio.  It’s Funky Friday and of course it sounds cool and when he says it with a French accent you think sounds fun, right?  For me this means it could be very challenging, or very creative.

Today was a lttle bit of both.  One would also assume that with a Funky Friday yoga class there would be some sort of groovy, vibey beat music.  Not so with Jerome’s class.  Did I mention that there is no music?  He plays music before class and then after class.  The only music you hear while you practice is the sing song sound of his voice mixed with your breathing.  It’s quite beautiful, by the way, to hear 30 plus people breathing in rhythm together.  Music, movement, meditation.  There is electricity in the room you can feel as students find their way.  His sequencing as always is different and surprising.

The focus seemed to be on hip openers and arm balances, both my favorite and both my most challenging.  Lucky me.  Let me see if I can describe.  Downward dog splits to plank to chatturanga back to plank (all with the right leg lifted) then to knee on outside of right arm to eka pada koundinyasana (Flying splits) to chatturanga, through vinyasa…switch sides, on and on and on.  I think I tried to rest once in Child’s pose and he said we’ll wait for Athena to continue.  Great.  I was up quick.   And so after you’re drenched and tired and ready for a mellow hip opener we do even more arm balances, bhujapidasana (Shoulder pressing) after lots of backbends of course to release the back.

Then when I think I just cannot do another thing…it’s time, Savasana.  Yay for savasana.  I don’t think it can ever be long enough for me.  I love this pose for so many reasons.  Today I loved it for finally being able to rest.

I took a class this morning with my favorite teacher.  Jerome at Santa Monica Power Yoga.  It’s very early and very challenging.  I think the hardest part of the class is getting out of my warm bed to walk 6 blocks in the cold, because I feel guilty for driving 6 blocks.  Making that decision to get out of bed and being told to move my body in ways that were not intended so early in the morning is a big one.  Luckily I love this class.  Jerome has a style like no one I’ve ever taken before.  I am of the belief that everything sounds better with an accent.  He’s creative in his sequencing, sometimes blending in Kundalini and pranayama along with asana in his instruction.  Many times he will bring you out of whatever chitta or “mind stuff” talk that’s happening in your head with his humor.  Making light of how serious we are being.  His style is playful, fun and extremely challenging to your 7 am brain.  Sometimes I think to myself, I’m a teacher I should be able to do this, right?  And then I am a bit nicer to myself and decide to practice ahimsa, or nonviolence, and say that I am forever the student.  If I knew how to do everything what would be left?  Looking around the class, of course after because I am so focused on my own practice, I see bright shining faces basking in the post yoga glow and know why I am here.  Sangha, or community, is alive and well as we all share our early morning experience and continue to come back again and again.

Yesterday morning I decided to skip yoga for a run on the beach.  The weather was amazing even though it was about 7 o’clock in the morning and January.  What a treat!  I ran along the bike path towards Temescal and even got some encouragement from a fellow early morning reveler bike riding…”lookin’ good”.  Well that works for me.  On the way back I decided to run on the soft sand to see the itty bitty waves crashing along the shore.  As I approached where I would usually go back up the hill I decided to sit and do a little yoga on the beach.  I received the best present ever.  About 100 feet, maybe closer, from shore there was a whale popping his head out and playing around in the water.  At first I thought maybe it was something else but the whale decided he or she was going to give me a few more peeks.  No one else was around and I started hooting and clapping, laughing.  Was I really the only one that was seeing this??? Unbelievable.  I spoke to a guy stand up paddling this morning and he said the whales come in close sometimes to scratch their backs on the bottom of the ocean.  Are you kidding me?

Lucky me…I guess it’s ok that I missed yoga.

Last night was the first full moon of the new year.  In honor of this spectacular occasion I attended Kirtan, or a form of Bhakti Yoga (devtional yoga) at Exhale Yoga Studio on Venice.  The event was hosted by Shiva Rae and Jai Uttal and special guest David Stringer.  Kirtan is a form of Bhakti Yoga that involves call and response with it being a group effort.  There is Mantra, live music and lots of divine energy.  The vibe last night was amazing with an invocation meditation led by Shiva Rae for the new year.  I was beside myself with adulation.  I have been listening to Jai’s music as well as playing his music in my yoga classes and in my car for a number of years.  We began with easy mantra and then as the drum beat started the energy in the room was electric.  I only lasted a little while sitting on the floor.  Before I knew it the dance began.  I found my friend and fellow yogini Kamala dancing in the back of the room and joined her.  Before long Sammy, Marla and Simone were up and dancing.  Pretty soon the entire room was full of celebration, dance and sweat.  I like to call it “Nataranj” (The dancer).  You just can’t help but move.  Live music does something to you and you just can’t stop moving when the drum beat begins.  After each mantra/dance there was a calm that washed over the room.  Still with the energy, calm in the movement.  I cannot think of a better way to begin the new year.  Singing, dancing, playing…it’s good to be here.

Having just moved to Santa Monica from Redondo Beach I am experiencing something new.  Yoga is alive and well on the westside.  Not that the South Bay doesn’t have it’s fair share of yoga studios.  But never have I seen so many people with sticky mats.  Everywhere people walk, ride bikes, skateboard, and sprint with their mats in tow.  All shapes, sizes, and ages on their way to or from a yoga class.  Maybe they are going to a studio, or the park or maybe the beach to have their practice alone or with a group.  Whatever it is, yoga has most definitely caught on.

Six years ago when I made the decision to take a yoga teacher training and learn more about what makes me feel so good, it was still a bit of a novelty.  People who know me, I am a bit of a tree hugger at heart, knew that this was my calling.  Still there were those who were doubtful.  What is this yoga thing, they asked, “you went to college, you have a degree.  Why don’t you get a real job?”  I would answer with, “well all I know is I love how I feel when I practice”, and I like to teach from that place.  I love how I feel when I take a class, whether it’s a meditation class or a challenging vinyasa class.  I love unrolling my mat and come to my practice.  I love the ritual of creating and on this mat for 90 minutes I am able to experience joy, pain, elation, excitement, deflation, vocalization, utter defeat and complete calm.  I don’t know any other way to have this experience other than my yoga practice.  This is why I teach.  I teach because I know the experience and love to be a voice there for others have their own experience.  With gentle guidance or assisting in a pose it’s all there to experience.

As I make the transition to teaching on the Westside I feel all the emotions of when I first began as a brand new teacher.  I feel a bit nervous but excited to share my knowledge.  I feel that my mind is open to having a new experience and am able to share as well as learn from students who are new to me.  I look forward to my new teachers and those students who will be new to me.  I look forward to embracing the new and I look forward to learning from my mistakes.

“The only true currency in this bankrupt world is the truth that we share with one another when we are being uncool”-Phillip Semour Hoffman, line from the movie Almost Famous